But all day long I heal for the honey/Yes I'm lovesick and undone, lovesick and undone

"Time and time again I'm half stalled"

I've come here often in the last few weeks and in my head have thought of many things I want to put down...my deepening love for Southern Baptists and the church I'm involved with, my growing interest and consideration of Teach For America, how blown away I am at the love my friends pour out on me, my recent escape to Seattle, my severe outbreak of senioritis, the hurricane I haven't let myself think about, boys (and all the trouble they cause).

I'm 22 years old and very close to graduating. It's time to be a big girl and deal with the real world. I'm fighting it now. I want to be silly and stay up late. I want to nap all the time and wear mini skirts every day. I guess the immaturity that has enveloped me this week is a by product of my fear of what's next. I'm scared also of the work required in my classes. How did I become a senior and why can't I just get a degree in extracurriculars?

I'm happy albeit needing to put a lot more effort into school, but happy. Tonight I was able to clean my car and the apartment and that alone brings me joy. The title refers to my recent dealings with the opposite sex. I am healing for the honey. I let myself fall for the wrong guy out of desperation. Nothing really came of it, don't get too excited, I just hurt myself in not trusting God. A good friend reminded me today that somewhere, probably in Antartica chilling with some penguins, is the man of my dreams waiting for a girl to watch the X Files with him and go on coffee taste testing dates.

Listening to: City Twilight, Jaci Velasquez, Cher, Enter the Worship Circle: Chair and A Microphone Vol. 2 and The Cranberries
YouTube: the Tiny Fey/Amy Pohler "Sarah Palin + Hillary Clinton" skit from last week's S.N.L.